The skills of giving and receiving feedback are fundamental to effective relationships and are an essential part of the mentoring process. If you give feedback skilfully, it will enable you to convey the idea that you want the person to develop and be successful. If you give feedback clumsily, it can sound as if you are blaming the apprentice or accusing them of being stupid. Such ‘destructive criticism’ will erode the apprentice’s self-esteem and make a positive outcome unlikely. Receiving feedback is also a skill that can be learned and improved upon. Hopefully you enjoy receiving positive feedback! You should welcome it just as much, because it can lead to valuable learning and development.
Methods of giving feedback
There are a number of ways you can give feedback, some more helpful than others.
- Positive feedback praises strengths and achievements. It is possibly the most comfortable form of feedback to give, and is extremely important.
- Negative feedback involves commenting in a non-judgmental way on actions or behaviours that may be hindering a person’s improvement. This is more difficult to give but is equally important. If given skilfully, it is an invaluable way to identify areas in which the person has an opportunity to grow and develop.
- Constructive feedback is a combination of positive and negative feedback and focuses on joint problem-solving. This is probably the most productive way of giving feedback.
- Destructive feedback has no benefits whatsoever. This is criticism without positive suggestions and is to be avoided at all costs – it dampens enthusiasm and reduces commitment.
Receiving feedback
The way you receive feedback may affect the way it is given to you. You can influence the person who is giving you feedback to become more effective by responding and asking constructive questions.
Here are some tips when receiving feedback:
- Always welcome positive feedback and enjoy the praise!
- Always listen to what is being said and do not jump to conclusions. Try to understand why you are receiving the feedback.
- Try not to be defensive or justify what you have done.
- If you do not understand what is being said, ask the person to clarify what they mean.
- Ask the person to give examples of your behaviour that have given rise to the feedback.
- Agree what needs to happen next, what both of you will do, and by when.